I’ve a mother who gets angry if I call her “Woman!” as if I’ve said the unsayable word to a mother and that shows how adorable she is! My empathy and connection with my mother has increased drastically over the past couple of years because I’ve been a horrible daughter to have had to deal with. I know many of us feel the way we do when we reach a certain age in our lives, but I’m not talking about them in particular. I’m talking about the times I’ve humiliated her in front of her friends and family because my character and behavior as a child and as a teenager where I’ve been awfully disturbing and unusually strange. The way I would dress up, carry myself and even conduct in front of people were something no parents would be proud to say, “That’s my daughter!” So because of this ongoing changes and phases of my life over the span of 20 years, my mother might have given me an intervention every couple of months.
While growing up I had the habit of walking with my head stooping towards the ground as if gravity played differently with my body and my head. My parents were clearly worried about their daughter’s utter lack of confidence that showed up even when she walked. I also had a golden rule during those times to never look at anyone’s face while having a conversation with them, you know, to make them even more comfortable. Basically, I wanted to be invisible for the entirety of my life. The many pep talks that my mother had given me over the course of my life, the one that stands out is about my walk, my hunchback, my shyness and my total inability to have a conversation with someone by having an eye contact, which she somehow always connected to my future marriage. I mean she was right, I was going to get married after 12 years and having an eye contact with the future husband was indeed a must.
After this phase of my life was over and after I grew up a little more, I had the opportunity to restart my life all over again, because I was moving from one place to another to a completely different school. That’s the best part about having had to move around a lot during childhood, you can always restart from somewhere else. The friends I made on the first day of my new school were outspoken, outgoing, friendly and smart. It took me a while to adjust to the new found vibe and soon everything changed. Even the way I walked.
From walking towards the light of invisibility, I went to the other extreme. I started walking like a lightning bolt, fast, furious and hyper. I started walking so fast that my father and mother couldn’t keep up with me anymore. By the time my parents walked from the car parking to the shop, I would have returned back to them with the status of the entire shop. I even started having this face where everyone thinks I’m about to fight them or I’ve a particular mission set in my mind. That was not a transition I was hoping for, but my resting face was always a scorn and many of them in my school and college still thinks I was arrogant because of my resting face. Again, my mother had to give me an intervention asking me to behave like a 17 year old girl and not like a 56 year old gymnast. She was so worried about me that I distinctly remember her trying to hold on to my dear hands whenever we went out, fearing I’ll leave them both behind, again. I guess having to parent a weird girl brought in a lot of stress in my poor mother that I can feel her sighing in relief 2000 miles away, now that I’ve slowly transitioned into an actual human and the husband is still alive and happy with her daughter. Ther are many instances I could talk about where I’ve been a pain, but that’s for another day.
Cheers to you, my mother, you have been kind, patient and easy with me. I love you, woman! 😀 🙂
Author: Lakshmi Geeth
I’m an ordinarily odd person who is pleasant to talk to. When I’m not trying to be funny, I would be lying on the floor bawling my eyes out. I write weird stories, real life snippets, traumatic and dramatic memories along with doses of unsolicited advices. 🙂