The attention span of any 4 year old kid will be better than me, unless and until it’s not the 4 year old me. That kid had the attention span of a grasshopper! So while people around me gave life advices and the nuances of what’s right and wrong, I was busy trying to make each day different than the other. Even though as a person I might come off as a ‘meh’, I easily get bored with the very mundanity of life in general.
I had thick long luscious hair in the 7th grade which I chopped off to a shoulder length without giving a red flag to anyone in the house. When my mother came back from her mundane day of office work, I was there to give her something unexpected and a VERY less than pleasing surprise. When I think of so many of my such impromptu decisions, none of it seems like a right choice at the moment. While I was holding my hair next to the mirror with a scissors in the other hand, ready to chop it at a precise straight line, someone was calling me, within me.
“Hey idiot! Put down that scissors. Tell your mom you want a hair-cut and she will take you somewhere where they know how to cut it.”
“But I want to cut it now, I’m bored of my hair and people are complimenting my hair too much.”
”You’re not going to pull off cutting the hair into a straight length. In fact, you will grab more attention if it all goes wrong!”
And there it was, almost 6 inches of my hair on the floor and a horrified 7th grader who has officially screwed up big time. The hair after the hair-cut ended up looking like the graphical representation of the world economy during the Great Depression, depressing and uneven.
Similarly there are SO many such spontaneous and impetuous decisions that I’ve taken in my life where my conscience had screamed her lungs out, telling me not to do it, but as long as my attention span stays within a grasshopper and a 4 year old limit, nothing will ever change.
The same applies to the numerous projects I take on my shoulder, only to get bored with it fast enough and drop it like a dozen eggs. The passion in which I start some of the projects are so intense that people near me feel like she is sorted for an entire lifetime. If you want proof, head over to doodle doo section of this blog, where I haven’t posted a comic in a really long time. The passion died as fast as it started. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll definitely post more there once I get that burning passion to sketch comics again but until then I’ll keep ignoring it like I’ve been ignoring many things I’ve interest in.
The absurdity of it all came into light yesterday evening. For the past couple of days, I’ve been trying my hands on drawing (Some are even there in my facebook page from a million years ago) and I was pretty happy with everything I had created, including this half-finished squirrel.
As I was passionately and vigorously trying to make the above squirrel realistic, Bigshot sat next to me, observing how deeply involved I’ve become.
“Are you going to continue drawing like this or is it just for a week?” Bigshot questioned.
“What do you mean” I asked.
“He is talking about your constant lack of commitment and your inability to listen to yourself, dumbass!” Said my conscience.
”I think I’m going to stick with it.” I said.
“LIE! LIE! LIE!” Screamed the overly enthusiastic conscience.
“Because you’re good at this and I need you to take it a little more seriously.” Bigshot said.
“Of course.” I said and as my mind wandered around further, without properly understanding the need to put it some more time, my entire attention went towards other stuff that had nothing to do with me at that very moment. Let’s just say that the conscience and Bigshot was clearly disappointed but sadly, not surprised and you will know it too as I never got around to finish drawing that squirrel.
What was I saying again? Just kidding. 🙂
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho
Author: Lakshmi Geeth
I’m an ordinarily odd person who is pleasant to talk to. When I’m not trying to be funny, I would be lying on the floor bawling my eyes out. I write weird stories, real life snippets, traumatic and dramatic memories along with doses of unsolicited advices. 🙂