First impression

I don’t make good first impression. I think my mother can vouch for that when she saw for the first time, a gigantic, hairy and red faced devil that came out of her. Even the doctor who took me out of my mom couldn’t stop herself from saying “Oru muttan kochanallo”, which translated from Malayalam means, “Isn’t she a huge one”.

Even though being an overweight baby had it’s perks, soon I shrank to the size of a nobody. A nobody who doesn’t necessarily create a good first impression. All the friends I ever made in school were either because they found me weird like them or they felt pity over me. Mostly the latter. If you know the story where I wrote about my friendship with alpha, you have been reading my blog for a long time and I really appreciate you. And If you haven’t been reading for that long, it’s okay I still appreciate you. So like alpha, there were many friendships that evolved purely because I was either grabbing attention from being an unusual character or simply because they wanted to take upon me as a charity case for experimentation purpose.

During my pre-school days I just had a single friend in my class who was equally weird like me because I distinctly remember we both crying by the time it was lunch with fake illness. Also, I was even made fun by the others in my class for being friends with her. For years, looking at strangers in their faces or speaking to people I met was the only difficulty I had to deal with when I got out of my house. And how can you expect to make friends when you are walking in the school campus or college campus, with your head down and sprinting swiftly so that you could avoid being acknowledged? Before my writing turns into a depressing monologue, l want to be honest with you, I still struggle to make new friends or the least maintain amicable relations with the people I meet.  Sure, certain things have changed drastically over the years, but the fear of creating a bad impression always runs in my mind.

Maybe I wasn’t that different compared to others. I judged every single person I met in my life too. Some of the kids whom I thought I wanted as friends initially in school turned out to be mean, some were digging their nose way too often and some were overly energetic and enthusiastic for my liking. So if half of them in school tried to stay away from me, then that half plus the rest of the half  I tried to stay away from. You know what, looks like I was way too finicky about choosing friends and close ones more than creating a first bad impression. Ahhh, life I tell you!

Author: Lakshmi Geeth

I’m an ordinarily odd person who is pleasant to talk to. When I’m not trying to be funny, I would be lying on the floor bawling my eyes out. I write weird stories, real life snippets, traumatic and dramatic memories along with doses of unsolicited advices. 🙂